THE MESSY CHAPTERS.

My intention was never to create a blog and make out my life was “blooming with daisies” and all that shit. I want this little space of mine on the internet to be real. I created a blog to talk more in depth about how I’m feeling and how life isn’t always as great as we make it seem. Over these past few months I’ve found myself feeling the loneliest I’ve ever felt in a world that is so connected.

Nowadays as a society, our lives revolve around social media. I’d say a good 95% of us try to make our lives more picture perfect for the sake of worrying how people may perceive us, let’s be honest. It’s very easy to get sucked into that and I’m completely guilty of it too. But I don’t want to be like that anymore, it’s so damn draining.

It’s so easy to fall into the habit of comparison. We compare ourselves to someone else all the time.

Our follower count.

Our Instagram feeds.

Our successes.

Even our personal appearance.

In fact, two days ago I posted a picture of my cat on Instagram and I felt like it wasn’t even good enough so I took it down. How messed up is that? He’s one of my greatest joys in life but the image I wanted to post just seemed pale in comparison. Pathetic, right?

I’ve decided to strip back the image I exhibit online from this point onward. I’m calling this part of my life “The Messy Chapters”. There’s days when I don’t want to get out of bed and face the world because I’m feeling mentally exhausted. There’s times when I don’t want to do my makeup and make my hair look great just to go to the supermarket or post a picture. I don’t want to fear what others think of me and lose sight on how I view myself.

Yes, life is amazing at times but not always. It can be dark and lonely and as a society we need to stop plastering the image of perfection everywhere because it doesn’t exist. After all we are only human and we are filled to the brim with flaws.

“You need to ignore what everyone else is doing and achieving. Your life is about breaking your own limits and outgrowing yourself to live YOUR best life. You are not in competition with anyone else; plan to outdo your past, not other people.”

TWENTY THINGS I’VE LEARNED IN TWENTY YEARS.

TODAY IS MY 20TH BIRTHDAY!♡

I actually can’t believe that I am officially out of my teens, it’s kind of sad to be honest. I’m now a functioning, responsible adult. In celebration of entering a new chapter in my life, I thought it would be a great idea to write down twenty things I’ve learned over the course of my childhood and teenage years cause boy, have I been taught a lot.

  1. THINGS DON’T ALWAYS GO TO PLAN AND THAT’S OKAY.
  2. QUALITY IS BETTER THAN QUANTITY.
  3. YOUR MENTAL ILLNESS DOES NOT DEFINE YOU.
  4. FORGIVE YOURSELF.
  5. WHAT GOES AROUND COMES BACK AROUND.
  6. CHERISH EACH MOMENT, IT DOESN’T LAST FOREVER.
  7. BE KIND TO OTHERS, YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT THEY’RE GOING THROUGH.
  8. THANK YOUR PARENTS.
  9. NEVER SETTLE FOR LESS.
  10. THINK TWICE BEFORE YOU SPEAK.
  11. NEVER FEEL GUILTY FOR NEEDING A LITTLE TIME BY YOURSELF.
  12. FORGIVE THOSE THAT HURT YOU.
  13. SOME PEOPLE DON’T BELIEVE IN THE SAME THINGS AS YOU DO AND THAT’S FINE.
  14. SOMETIMES NASTY PEOPLE ARE JUST THAT.
  15. LEARNING TO LOVE YOURSELF WILL BE THE HARDEST THING, BUT ALSO THE MOST REWARDING.
  16. SELF DOUBT DESTROYS CREATIVITY.
  17. YOUR VIBE ATTRACTS YOUR TRIBE.
  18. AT YOUR ABSOLUTE BEST, YOU STILL WON’T BE GOOD ENOUGH FOR THE WRONG PERSON.
  19. YOU CAN’T FIND HAPPINESS IN OTHER PEOPLE.
  20. YOU WILL BE OKAY, EVENTUALLY.

AUTUMN PLAYLIST 2017.

  1. THE NEIGHBOURHOOD – SWEATER WEATHER.
  2. THE 1975 – ANTICHRIST.
  3. LANY – HERICANE.
  4. DAWN GOLDEN – STILL LIFE.
  5. BON IVER – STACKS.
  6. THE 1975 – FALLINGFORYOU.
  7. BROODS – FOUR WALLS.
  8. THE 1975 – UNDO.
  9. NOVO AMOR – ANCHOR.
  10. AMBER RUN – 5AM.
  11. DAUGHTER – MEDICINE.
  12. BON IVER – HOLOCENE.
  13. DAWN GOLDEN – LAST TRAIN.
  14. ED SHEERAN – AUTUMN LEAVES.
  15. DERMOT KENNEDY – AFTER RAIN.

PRIORITISE YOURSELF.

Today I want to talk about something that’s been crossing my mind a lot lately. Over these past two months I’ve been dealing with some changes in my life. Due to these changes I’ve noticed that I haven’t really made myself a priority for a long time. In terms of physical and mental health, I’ve neglected myself completely. I’ve spent a long time being in such a negative head space and being unhappy. Recently I cut out a few people who made a negative impact in my life and by doing that I noticed a continuous problem.

When do you decide it’s time to be selfish and take care of yourself?

I’ve always been someone who cares too much about others opinions of me. Due to that, I stopped caring about how I viewed myself. Cutting these people out of my life was actually a difficult thing to do. It wasn’t because I don’t care about them. It’s because for the first time in a long time I care about me more.

I’ve been thinking about things that I want to do for myself and slowly but surely I’ve made minor changes. Although some are the simplest of things, they are the beginning of a new chapter. For example, I unfollowed and unfriended people on my social media who would no longer benefit my progression. I deleted old tweets and status’s. I erased messages and phone numbers of people I no longer talk to. I cleared my phone, laptop, everything. And this all brings me back to this point now. Me, writing this post.

It is time to prioritise myself.

I’ve got some new goals and I really feel like this is going to be such a beneficial thing for me and my health. It’s onward and upwards from here. I hope you continue growing with me as I embark on this journey to finding who I am.

Thanks for sticking around!

For what it’s worth it’s never too late or, in my case too early to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you’ve never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.

F. Scott Fitzgerald.

BUSTED CONCERT.

This time last month a childhood dream of mine became a reality. I saw BUSTED! I’m literally squealing inside as I write this. Why didn’t I blog about this sooner?

Busted were a massive part of my childhood. I remember being completely obsessed with these three lads in dorky outfits jamming on their guitars singing about a girl who wouldn’t dance at the disco. Oh, the sweet days of innocence. I still get flashbacks to the times I made up numerous dance routines to basically every song. I also remember running as fast as I could down the stairs to jam out to Year 3000, What I Go To School For and Air Hostess on the TV.

When Busted split up, I was so gutted. Of course you get over it, but they mark a place in your heart forever. I remember the announcement, all three of them sitting there.. Charlie, Matt and James and I remember bawling. Comical to think about now. I never expected Busted to reunite. As much as I love Mcfly, McBusted was all kinds of wrong. When I saw a video on Busted’s YouTube channel I was so confused, then there it was. The moment I’d been waiting for since they split. Charlie, Matt and James all in the same video singing Meet You There and announcing Busted’s return. I cried for a little while.

Busted then came out with a new album Night Driver, the sound was totally different but I loved it just as much. That wasn’t the exciting part though, they then announced that they were going on tour. One of those places being in my city, which never really happens. Like ever. Straight away I knew I had to get tickets. They sold out super fast. In fact my city was the first place to be sold out. Because the tickets went so quickly, I couldn’t get my hands on one. That didn’t stop me searching though. One day I was out shopping and I came across tickets online, they were a little extra but they were definitely worth it. I went straight to my bank to put the money in to order them and realised I was short changed. Thankfully I have a best friend who’s heaven sent and he then ordered them for me. I was so excited!

The day arrived. 29th January 2017.

THIS IS HAPPENING. I AM SEEING BUSTED. MY CHILDHOOD IS COMPLETE.

I got myself ready and my friend met me at mine. We jumped into a taxi and off we went. Unfortunately it was raining, thankfully I was the smart one and brought an umbrella with me.  We arrived early which meant we got a great space in the queue, this meant when we got into the venue it was filled with a generous amount of people but not too many. We picked the perfect spot, with a perfect view. The venue quickly filled up after that. Everyone lost their shit when Busted came on stage, I was pretty close to crying of happiness. Matt had me laughing all night, Charlie sounded like an angel and James was adorable. I wasn’t expecting so many throwback songs to be sung but it sure as hell made me the happiest person ever. I spent the night singing my heart out and endlessly jumping up and down. I didn’t want it to end. I always wished to be the girl in the crowd of a Busted concert, I thought that chance was over when they split but it happened.

It’s something I’ll always remember, those dorks have marked a place in my heart forever♡.

Songs Played: 

Air Hostess.

Year 3000.

Nerdy.

New York.

Kids With Computers.

Who’s David.

Night Driver.

Thinking Of You.

Sleeping With The Light On.

Without It.

On What You’re On.

I Will Break Your Heart.

3AM.

Those Days Are Gone.

Busted Concert | YouTube Video

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